Hello everyone and I hope today's article finds you doing well and enjoying your weekend. With it being another pleasant day, I felt it best to add little bit more humor into the mix of things and take a break from the normal beat of life. Below is an email that was forwarded to me that I felt was rather entertaining and added perspective to just how impersonal companies, banks, and organizations are becoming these days.
You know what I'm referring to, we pick up the phone call that 1-800 hundred number and instead of speaking to an actual person we spend the next 20 minutes going through automated menus with the overly pleasant voice guiding us with fake enthusiasm. What ever happened to the person on person communication that businesses use to push heavily?
____________________
-Justin
World Class Whitetails of Ohio
Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old
woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in
the New York Times.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to
pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his
presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to
honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension,
an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You
are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also
for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused
to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident
has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,
--- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From
now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be
automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and
confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to
open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I
require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight
pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows
about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her
medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory
details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and
liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY
convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must
quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled
it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest
form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is
required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that
Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on
hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on
occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the
duration of the call .
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I
wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
(Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman) 'YA JUST GOTTA LOVE "
US SENIORS" !!!!!
And remember: Don't make old ladies mad. They don't like being old in the
first place, so it doesn't take much to set them off!
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